What would you/did you name your children?
Girl: Morning Star
*Top Five favourite bands and why you like them:
Cake is punk. While neo- and pseudo- punk bands are suffering through punk's periodic decent into the mainstream, Cake is still the real deal, ignoring all pop standards of composition, subject, and style. Every Cake song is brilliantly written, and even though they're all completely different songs, you always know it's a Cake song.
Even though Mark Sandman's dead and probably burning in Hell for doing cocaine with underage girls, I bet he's still cool. Come on. This band was so goddamn smooth. This is what sex sounds like when you're tripping.
How can you say anything about Tom Waits and not fall short of doing the man justice? He should be dead. He's a chainsmoker and an alcoholic. He just dropped out of some dying poet's dream and started making music, what, 300 years ago now? Everything Tom Waits does manages to make jazz out of tin can musicians and a voice that could grind an axe.
Sure. Everyone I know either likes Pink Floyd, doesn't care, or thinks liking Pink Floyd is cliched. Some cliches are cliches for a reason. Pink Floyd orchestrated psychadelic angst in a way nobody, except possibly Tool and Radiohead, has managed before or since. Dark Side of the Moon spent thirty years on the charts for a reason, and Wish You Were Here is still the best sad song to feel good about.
LAMB OF GOD
Hardcore motherfuckers. These guys are what all hardcore should aspire to. Boneshattering sound at absurdly high speed, with the tightest changes you can make with human hands. If it doesn't make you want to kill someone, it'll make you want to play drums.
*What movie would you never want to see again? What made this movie so horrible?
or XXX or whatever stupid thing they called it in newspapers. How do you take a multi-million dollar budget, an large actor who can read, and a what I can only assume was a film crew, and make a BAD action movie? Action movies are not hard to make. There are very, very simple rules for them. This movie wasn't only bad, it was boring too. They obviously had the money to make things look cool, and yet they failed. Utterly. The plot was dull. The dialogue was like one long string of either cliches or nonsensical, out-of-character exposition. This movie wasn't even the kind of action movie you can get pleasantly stoned to, watch the cool action, and laugh at the rest. Predator is that kind of movie. Triple X failed in every possible way; not funny enough to make you laugh with it, not enough of a sense of humor to make you laugh at it, not enough action to make it a remotely watchable bad action film. This is worse than a bad action film. The negatives should be burned, the director shot, and the writers tossed into dark rooms with food, so they can starve to death with a little time to reflect on their errors.
*Favourite on or off Broadway play/musical:
The Importance of Being Earnest.
*Favourite show when you were little:
Reading Rainbow. Hell, I still watch Reading Rainbow. If I could have anyone's advice anytime I wanted, it would be LeVar Burton's. After 130 episodes of learning and teaching things to kids, I cannot fathom how smart this man must be.
Terry Pratchett, everything; Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"; Tom Robbins, everything; Umberto Eco, everything; Roger Zelazny, the original five Amber Chronicles; Isaac Asimov (Not always the greatest writer, but... 500+ books, several thousand papers and articles. see: LeVar Burton); Forget the author's name, but "For Fuck's Sake".
*If you found out you only had a week to live, list five things you would do in the time you had left:
Go to amestradam, drink, do a bunch of speed, buy half a dozen hookers all at once, say something really memorable, like "I'll be back," just before I expire.
*If you could make one celebrity disappear, who would it be? Why?
Paris Hilton. I would kill Averil Lavigne on aesthetic grounds, but Paris Hilton is really just a bad person. There's a video, not the famous one, but a collection of video stuff she did with her friends. The journalist who got ahold of it was instantly set on by the entire Hilton lawyer squad, so he can't even talk to his wife about it or they'll throw him in jail. Why? Well, one thing, and not the worst of it, was Paris walking down the street calling black people niggers. Paris Hilton's execution could be a good warning to all the dumb, nasty, hateful, ignorant people out there who are getting famous by being dumb, nasty, hateful, and ignorant.
*Would you be willing to give up ever having sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?
*What is the most overrated thing in your opinion?
Depression. Everybody's depressed except for this guy I know named Chris. How he does it, I don't know. It doesn't make you deep to wallow in depression and bring everyone down in an existential void of loneliness. Get over it or get medicated. For chrissakes don't cultivate it.
*Do you believe in fate? Why or why not?
Honestly, I don't care, and nobody really should. Whether we're fated by destiny, the god of your choice, or our genetic program, we still act like we have control because it's the only way we can act. "Fate" might be out there, most of the time people use it as an excuse to not work for something or fix their problems.
*If you could change one thing you did in the last 24 hours, what would it be and why?
I would not have spent twenty bucks on the Cowboy Bebop directors' picks DVD. Not that I don't love it, but I could have downloaded them all for nothing if I'd just written down the titles. By the time I finished watching them, my computer savvy friend had already decided he liked the show and downloaded the entire series.
*Describe your greatest fear:
Death. I don't think there's anything waiting at the end, and on the very slim chance there is somebody tending the Essence of Me, I don't think that somebody will like me.
*What are your views on-
Abortion: Better than deadbeat dads and poor single mothers who slap their kids.
Same-sex Marriages: As my aunt and her girlfriend say, "Why the Hell would anyone want to get married? Of course it's dumb for these people to care about whether or not other people get married, but I can't wait for all these couples to start getting divorced in a country where only half the states recognize them as legally together. That will be funny."
Legalization of Marijuana: Before I stopped smoking weed, I thought weed should be mandatory. Now that I have had to stop for medical reasons, I just think it should be mandatory for everybody else.
This is your last chance to say something:
Well, no, actually it's not, and I'd rather not write that one thing that will make me sound just clever enough, or say some random dadaist comment that will get me in the gates of cool. I'm past the gates of cool. I'm past the lobby of cool. I'm sitting in the back room smoking a cigarette and doing shots with the chef.